I Am Very Much Alone
I am very much alone
No matter who is home
Friends and family gather round
While shivering drizzle fills the ground
Windy wisps of misty tears
Fleck my window’s taunting jeers Swirling laughter I conduct
Through symphonies of comic pluck
My guests enjoy the revelry
My wretchedness they fail to see
So to this act the part I play
Until my darlings go away My house is quiet–calm–serene
Darkness seals my soul obscene
My loved ones melt into their dreams
My mind is filled with miserable fiends
I should retire and hold my wife
But I’m too filled with nervous strife I pace the room, my search compelled
Yet nothing sates, madness impelled
The fiend Seppuku tempts my heart
And begs the pain of life depart
I’m ever tempted to embrace
Death’s angelic smiling face Misty dawn now breaks the spell
Of nighttime’s bitter darkness swell
Yawning kids now fill my view
Joyous heart aches all anew
Until the darkness returns again
To tempt my heart to mortal sin
Copyright © 2013 Sean P. Pratt, all rights reserved
The Origin Story: This is a very dark, moody poem. This was a school assignment (to write a poem) and I was in a pretty bad place emotionally. I wanted to express what depression was like. I wanted to say how entertaining guests is so exhausting all while this darkness creeps around the shadows of it all.
I was able to overcome a lot of that, thankfully. Many thanks and love to my family. Depression is incurable, but there are things that can help us take a different view when faced with the iron wall.
Another point about this poem: there are some who tried to help me make this less "poemy", as in removing the rhyme and extending the meter. However, I don't give a fuck about that shit. A true artist does not compromise their vision to sell or fit in. I like it when a poem rhymes. I think that my work is clever and my turn of phrase, all while keeping the mood of the poem on track. This was the first draft and I like it exactly as it is.